Namaste B*tches

Is chocolate better than sex? We’re not sure if that’s true. What we do know is sometimes no amount of yoga and meditation gives us the same soothing, satisfaction as a delicious bite of chocolate.

Image via: 100 Red Flags

Here are five reasons chocolate just might be better than everything:

1) Dopamine is the body’s feel good hormone. The pupil dilating effects of dopamine felt during orgasm are also experienced when you take a small bite of chocolate. See? Our bodies are chemically engineered to love chocolate. You can learn more about how dope dopamine is here.

2) Antioxidants can be found in many of the super foods that’ve become popular on the market over the past few years. Antioxidants are mood lifters and help with indigestion, aging, boosting your immune system and clearing your skin. Good quality dark chocolate is rolling in antioxidants. Another win.

3) Methylxanthines. These stimulants increase body sensitivity. Translation? Next level sensuality. Note: you need real cocoa chocolate to receive these benefits, so no candy bars for you.

4) The Aztecs. These are the people who introduced popcorn, universal education and the calendar to the world before we were doing much of anything. They knew what they were talking about and they loved chocolate. In fact, they revered it as an aphrodisiac. King Montezuma drank up to 50 cups of chocolate a day to satisfy his harem. (Down boy!) Scientists now know the secret of Montezuma’s success: chocolate contains the stimulants theobromine and phenylethylamine, which trigger the same hormones as lovemaking.

5) You can get chocolate anytime and it never lets you down.

Maybe chocolate is better than sex, maybe it’s the perfect compliment. We’re happy to keep testing out both theories. Now just one question remains.

How large is the chocolate fountain that this women dived into and where can we find it?